Doing lines: Harold arrives, The Boys In The Band (1970)

Listen, repeat, and memorise, then turn up late to every future event and announce your arrival thus*:

“What I am, Michael, is a 32-year-old, ugly, pockmarked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a while to pull myself together and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world it’s nobody’s goddamned business but my own.

And how are you this evening?”