MARK ADNUM: Love the name. How’d you choose it?
BUCK ANGEL: I love the name too! Thanks. Well I wanted a very butch name to go along with my super-masculine porn image and “Buck” is such a great macho name. It is not all that common, so it seemed just right. As for the Angel part, well, that’s my wife’s last name. She happens to be one of the most amazing and lucky people I have ever met. So I put those two names together and bam! It was perfect.
Everyone comments on what a great name it is, and I think it sticks in peoples minds. One interviewer said it was “the perfect mix of masculine and feminine,” but I had never thought of it that way before. Though I have to agree I think it is. Not that I am in any way feminine. But I guess having a pussy makes people think of feminine (funny how that works, huh!)
MA: From the waist up, Buck, I think you’re the hottest thing out. The truck driver torso, the tatts, the occasional cigar hanging from your mouth: you’re my fantasy man. Thing is, one of my fantasies is sucking off my fantasy man’s cock. Yet, your pussy doesn’t put me off at all - on the contrary, I think it only makes you sexier, despite the visual inconsistency. What’s your take on this little mystery?
BA: Well thank you very much! You know it takes a real man to admit that they are attracted to me. I think what I am doing is so powerful and so crazy! You know I never in a million years expected this to happen. I just had an idea to make some porn that no one else was doing. I did not realize that it would go in so many directions. My work is surpassing porn–it is getting people to think, and to talk. And not exclusively people interested in my porn. I am making people think about gender and sexuality. What exactly is it that makes a man just that: a man?
I think a lot of things are going on. Historically the options have been very limiting and putting people in boxes, for example, you HAD to be gay, straight, or bi. You couldn’t just be “sexual.” You had to be one of those given categories. Black and white, only. Well, guess what? There’s gray and purple and lots of other options and variations. I am showing the world that is not as limited as people thought. In our society, you have to be a man or a woman…and the only way you are defined is by your genitals..well guess what THAT’S not valid either. Look at Buck Angel. You cannot deny that I am all man. And when I have sex with a man it is obviously man-on-man action–it looks “gay.” But, in that situation you also have a cock going into a pussy, so…is it straight? (Interesting, right?)
Now what are people gonna think? They hate when things don’t fit in the box. But it makes them take notice and talk.
MA: You say you recently moved from the United States. Where are you now, and what prompted the change?
BA: Yes, I moved from the USA about 9 months ago to a little town in the Yucatan, in Mexico. I had lived in New Orleans for four years and loved it there. But I was really getting tired of the government’s crap. They started coming down hard on the adult industry and I felt sort of like a target because I am so unique; and there is no precedent. They’re targeting “obscenity” which is ill-defined by the law. I didn’t want them to make an example out of me. I didn’t feel safe in the US. Kind of ironic, huh?
I also felt like I wanted to experience other parts of the world. I had lived in the US my whole life. I bought my place in Mexico right before Hurricane Katrina, that same month. People think I moved because of the hurricane, but that is not true, as I had planned to move before the disaster hit. I truly love that city, and what happened there is so hideous. What a disgrace. The government would never treat people like that in Mexico! We still have property in New Orleans and my wife still has a business there. It is a dog clothing store called Chi-wa-wa Ga-ga.
I love living in the Yucatan. Life is so amazing here. I have an incredible piece of property, a maid, a cook, and a grounds keeper. I rescued two dogs. I would not have this quality of lifesytle in the US. It’s a win/win situation for all involved. I don’t want you to think I am some crazy white man taking advantage of the poor Mexican labor. I totally take great care of them and they take good care of me!
MA: When you go out socially and pick up someone who doesn’t know who you are, what happens later when the pants come off at home?
BA: That would NEVER happen. I would never fail to tell anyone before we got home (that I am a man with a pussy). That is not cool at all. This is why many transsexual girls get the shit beat out of them. They try fooling the guys they meet. Well you know, I would be pissed if someone deceived me, too.
Not that it’s ok to beat someone up under those or any circumstances. But, really, put yourself in their shoes. Like I said before, people have issues and have needs to label and be labeled. So if a guy comes home with me thinking he is gonna suck my cock and sees my pussy, what do you think he is gonna do? He will probably freak out. Then the whole night is ruined.
It is my responsibility to be honest about myself. I am proud of who I am. This is also why my work is so important: because I know other transsexuals see my work and feel inspired to be proud. We have to be okay with ourselves because the bottom line is we are the only ones who can make ourselves happy. I really don’t care what people think of me. I love myself, I have pride in my body, and feel comfortable with myself. And by demonstrating that, people will, in turn, be able to feel positive about me and to love me. I have seen it happen.
MA: Camille Paglia once advised a man considering a sex-change operation to, put “the operation on hold. Some merchandise is nonreturnable”. Any regrets, Buck?
BA: Good advice! I love Camille; she is awesome. Regrets? No way! It was the best thing I ever did for myself. I was on a path of self destruction. I hated myself, I was a slobbering alcholic and drug addict living on the streets. I was desperately unhappy and was a total mess. I really wanted to kill myself. I could no longer live in that female body. I made a life-changing decision with the help of a therapist I had my sex change, and completely turned my life around.
I do want to say that I feel today that many people are not taking it as seriously as I think they should. It seems like having a sex change has become some sort of a trend. A sex change is utterly life-altering and when you take hormones, physical changes occur that you cannot reverse. You must understand what you’re getting into before you do it. Many people get hormones underground, don’t see a therapist, then all of a sudden realize they made a mistake. I have seen it happen many times. A sex change is not a joke.
I think it is amazing now that transsexuals are so accepted and how comparatively easy it is to change. When I started my change there wasn’t a lot of information, and there were hardly any other guys having sex changes. I lost many of my lesbian friends because they hated that I was becoming a man. Funny thing is, I have since gotten calls from some of them asking me for advice on how to start the change. I went through it all alone. But you know I think that is part of what made me a strong man. Bottom line is to make sure what you really want for the rest of your life!
MA: I understand that surgical construction of a penis is often unsatisfactory, which is why most FTM’s such as yourself choose to keep your vagina. Do you desire a cock? It strikes me that even though you are so manly, the one manly thing you cant do (without a strap-on) is fuck someone with your own dick, and this, in a sense, keeps you in a feminised position. What do you say?
BA: Man I love this question. People just can’t get around my pussy as a female thing. My pussy is all man. Many, many gay men have a hole THEY like to have fucked. That doesn’t make them female. I think it is a shame that people just cannot get their heads around that. I have a lot of work to do to help make it clear that the cock does not make the man. Nothing about me feels feminized. And my cocks (I have many) are ALWAYS hard, and I can even provide my partner with the right size for the current mood. Hell, even favorite color is an option! I’ve never had any complaints, and I derive a lot of pleasure from fucking a partner, even if my cock isn’t part of my body.
I do not desire to have a cock though I used to want one before I became comfortable with myself and when I thought that I needed to have one to be WHOLE (but now I’d just rather use my HOLE). Yes many FTMs do no have the surgery because it just doesn’t appeal to us. Others don’t because they can’t afford it. Surgery can cost 50-57K! Frankly, I’d rather have a new truck.
Now there are two FTM schools of thought. One believes you have to have a cock or you will never be a man. And then, of course, there is the Buck Angel perspective. Many FTMs from the one side hate the Buck Angel side because we are showing that you don’t need a piece of meat between your legs to be a man. I personally would never get that surgery as it is today. It doesn’t appeal to me and is way too expensive and is just not perfect. I like perfect!
My heart, my mind, my soul, and ninety-some percent of my body is ALL male. The facts that I have a pussy, and don’t have a cock (that’s attached) just aren’t deal-breakers on my gender. Nothing makes me feel like I’m in a “feminised position” ever.
MA: Buck, I have to ask for myself and for what must be the many tens of thousands of gay men around the world who have often wondered about this but have no way of finding out. Where does it feel better: up the ass or up the cunt?
BA: I get a lot of positive feedback from guys who fuck a lot of ass that pussy actually feels REALLY GOOOOD! Frankly I’ve been surprised about how many gay men genuinely like pussy, at least when it is on a man.
I love getting fucked in my cunt. I have yet to really get fucked in my ass. Why should I when I have a perfectly good cunt to fuck? All of the gay men I fuck already have plenty of experience with that, so with Buck Angel it is all about the pussy. I have tried to do a double penetration but my ass is too tight. I am working on being able to do it, though.
I also want to let you know that it does not make me a Bottom because I get fucked. I am a Top and like to have my hole serviced. It does not make me feel like a “woman” either. I feel like a big butch mother fucker getting his cunt fucked!!
Buck Angel has made history as the world’s first female-to-male transsexual (FTM) Porn Star.
He’s an entrepreneur with a look and style all his own. Angel has gone from pioneering an entirely new adult industry genre (FTM Porn), to appearing in mainstream press on the Howard Stern Show, to working with major production companies including Titan Media.
More information on Buck can be found at his website.
This interview took place via email in 2007.